Some of these beverages contain enough sugar to induce a diabetic coma in a Shetland pony
Is this the best way to accomplish your New Year's resolutions? If your gym membership lapsed months ago, skip this dessert masquerading as caffeine: while high in Vitamin A, calcium, and iron, this sweet treat contains the same amount of saturated fat as a large serving of foie gras.
Chai Tea Latte
Brace yourself: while the Chai Tea Latte may sound healthful, it packs 340 calories — that’s more than a Taco Bell Beef Gordita Supreme — and although it is the least sweet option of all the items we're reviewing, it still contains as much sugar as two melted Snickers bars.
Caramel Brulee Latte
A cup of coffee is like the Caramel Brulee Latte the same way my apartment is like the palace of Versailles. This prime example of end-of-the-empire decadence jams 580 calories, twenty grams of fat, and eighty-five grams of carbs into its scant twenty ounces.
White Hot Chocolate
You may as well pour the contents of your local diner’s grease trap directly into your carotid artery. The White Hot Chocolate contains more saturated fat than a six-piece bucket of fried chicken at KFC and about as many calories as a chicken alfredo calzone at the Olive Garden.
Green Tea Soy Latte
This drink’s nutritional information is a nice little kick in the derrière for anyone who ever thought the words “green tea” and “soy” equated “healthful.” Surprise!
This sweet drink equates 34 Wonka Pixie Stix.
Caramel Apple Spice Drink
This item, billed as a “kid’s drink,” is basically a gigantic glass of simple syrup: it contains no nutritional benefits and the same amount of sugar as five Hostess Twinkies. Your teeth would prefer you slept with a retainer made out of Twizzlers.
Even without a whipped cream topping, this drink still has more cholesterol than a McDonald’s Quarter Pounder Bacon and Cheese with a Big Mac stacked on top as garnish.
That image, however, doesn’t even begin to illustrate the amount of sugar and carbs in the Eggnog Latte: this drink is so far off the charts nutritionally that if you wanted to recreate it in the form of a solid, you would have to eat a white bread sandwich slathered in bacon grease and chocolate syrup, stuffed with a cronut, and topped with a dozen crushed Dum Dum pops.
Now imagine putting that mess in a blender, and slurping it up through a dark green straw.
But, uh, it handles 70% of your recommended daily allowance of calcium?